Today was a day of big change. I went back to work at Burnsville High School. It was great to be back in the classroom doing something I love. It was definitely different to be separated from Ali and Brady. Ali and I were talking that the past week really has brought us closer together. Sometimes you get stuck in routines and it's a blessing to have something happen to remove all of the distractions in your life. We've had a lot of quality time together over the past week to talk about our family and our love for each other.
We're trying to make a concentrated effort to keep Ali off her feet and let her heal. I survived my first two gauze changes on Ali's abdomen last night and this morning before work. Grandma Rita came over early in the morning to help get Ava off to school and spent the entire day with Casey (someone should create an award for that accomplishment). Ava also was eager to help her mom in any way possible. She offered to make breakfast in bed, helped Casey get dressed, and stayed quiet while her mom rested (which is a big deal for her).
Ali's sister drove Ali to the hospital and they spent the entire afternoon with Brady. Ali and Amy have a special bond and Ali was thrilled to have someone pamper her during the day.
Ali sent me pictures throughout the day and I was amazed at how different Brady looks today. They removed the CPAP machine this morning and he now has a nasal cannula. The CPAP machine forced his nose up like a pig's snout and bloated and distorted his face. The swelling has really reduced from his face and his features are becoming more defined. There was a brief moment after Brady's resuscitation where they whisked him past Ali and me. Brady's eyes were open and his face was beautiful and peaceful. Today is the first day that he looks like that baby we met exactly one week ago today.
They will continue to reduce the amount of breathing support as he grows stronger. They are also increasing his milk feedings 5 ml every other time. He will have an x-ray of his lungs tomorrow and a recheck of his liver and kidneys on Thursday. They are still monitoring his seizure medication. It's obvious to us that his body is healing and he is getting stronger every day.
Ali spent the entire morning and afternoon with Brady snuggling in a chair. He grabbed on to her arms and shirt and buried himself into her body. He was making cooing and squeaking noises. He would stretch and yawn. He made faces and smiled. His eyelids fluttered and even opened briefly twice. He barely tremored at all. He was comfortable and peaceful and beautiful. Ali was absolutely shocked.
I was planning on joining Ali after school today. I received a call that Ava was in the school's nurse's office with a rash and possible strep throat. Rita picked her up from school and I met them at home. Ava and I made a run to a Minute Clinic...no strep...viral rash...bought some Benadryl...Ava will be back in school tomorrow.
I finally made it to the hospital around 4:45 p.m. Brady and I had Kangaroo time for over an hour. I couldn't help thinking that I was holding him exactly one week after his birth (5:41 p.m. last Tuesday).
The best part for me was the sounds he was making. He was squeaking and cooing and making baby noises. We've missed those baby noises for the past week as he's been pumped with fluids, cooled, rewarmed, had tubes down his throat, and began the long process of healing.
The most haunting part of this week has been the silence. When Ava and Casey were born they started crying almost immediately. When they pulled Brady out, someone said, "It's a boy" and another person said, "He's a big one". And then there was a bone-chilling silence. Brady was completely still. They started to give him breaths with a hand-held device. They placed him on a table, checked for a pulse, and couldn't find one. Somebody yelled, "Code blue" and a number of people scurried into the room. The room was too silent for the number of people standing around. I remember hearing someone repeating, "One, two, press" for several minutes as they tried to bring his body back to life. Ali was shielded by the drapes of her C-Section and kept asking me what was happening. I couldn't answer her. The feeling was was so surreal, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Last Tuesday was a nightmare. Today was a miracle for Brady and for us. We can't wait to see him tomorrow.
With love,
Tyler, Ali, Ava, Casey and Brady
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